Taking Volunteers

I have a couple things needing to be done between now and the wedding.  I will be taking volunteers to complete these projects:

* 10 page research essay on women and blogging
* Revised short essay on 'Pedagogy of the Opressed' by Paulo Freire
* Multimedia project for psychology worth a million gazillion points
* Psychology final
* English final
* Religions of the World final
* World Music final
* Religions of the World group project
* Group blog project in English
* Psych extra credit essay because I did craptastic on mid-term
* Find out why my transcript from old college hasn't posted yet to new college
* Make programs for wedding
* Make escort cards
* Make more bunting
* Mock layout cake table, wrap boxes for stands
* Teach me how to apply make-up because I have the skills of a 7 year old

(Image)

(Just make the soda can a beer can that I've pulled out of my purse and it's a pretty accurate depiction.) 

There's more to do, but really helping with these things would set me in the right direction.  By the way, when I say 'help' I mean do it for me.

Thank you in advance.

Thoughts for Your Thursday

* Considering kicking the iPhone to the curb.  Why you ask?  Because it has a cracked screen? Because I can't end phone calls?  Because there's a giant chunk taken out of it?  No.  No.  No.  Three mornings in a row, the alarm clock goes off an hour before it is supposed to.  It SAYS it's set for 6:15 am, but it goes off at 5:15.  I don't know why it hates me.

* A woman COUGHED on me yesterday.  Thank God it was a dry cough (gross that I know it was dry).... but how hard is it to COVER YOUR MOUTH a;slkdfuieo;alskdjf;alsiejn.  I sprayed myself down with Lysol.  Seriously.

* I lost 6 lbs. last week.

* I've lost 0 lbs. in two days.  Go figure.

* The wedding is so close I'm not even going to tell you how many days until the blessed event because I want to vomit when I think about it.

* I'm a master avoider.  I made a meal last Thursday.  Boyfriend comes in and is impressed (side dishes were involved and he's used to meat with sauce on it).  I tell him I just wanted to do something nice.  Truth: I was avoiding homework, wedding shizz, Grey's Anatomy, laundry and dishes.  SUCCESS. 

* If one more person asks, "How much is this?" and I know the price tag is in their stupid face I'm going to punch them in the throat. 

* I am fairly confident that a couple of people I know are living solely off of jarred maraschino cherries, dill pickle spears, french onion dip and 2 liters of soda.  Someone should make the connection between pickle-dip people and ranch-rice lady because they are (surprise?) family. 

* I'm super passive-aggressive when it comes to facebook.  When I read someone's status, I get all rolley-eyed and start wondering how I can make my fb status about them but NOT about them. 

* Speaking of passive aggressive, I once submitted one of my employee's letters to passiveaggressivenotes.com.  It got on.  And got lots of comments.  It was the most boss-like thing I ever did.  (If you're really nice to me, I might tell you which one it is.)

I don't know what that means, but I googled Thursday and that's what I got.

113 days ago I made this list...

I don't know if y'all had heard or not, but I'm getting MARRIED.  When I had 144 days to go and the bright idea to detail the planning on a wordpress blog, I decided I needed a more detailed list than what theKnot.blah or any other site could offer me.  I now have 31 days 'til the blessed event and thought I would re-visit that list, seeing as how I've made a million other lists since then. 

Here's a key so I can pretend this will make sense:
Black text - from original list
Crossed through - DONE
Crossed through, in blue - Cancelled idea because I can.
Pink text - Added after 144 days to go either because I hadn't been specific in first list or I saw it on a wedding blog (and then subsequently learned to put the wedding blogs AWAY when there are 100 days to go).

So, ladies and gents (who am I kidding) Mom, here is the 144 days to go list:

■Order & pay for my dress


■Confirm photog, pay deposit, schedule e-pics

■Decide on cake design

■Contact baker (I know who I want already, she is available) to have tasting, pay deposit

■Make final decision on rentals (if any)

■Book rentals (if any)

■Confirm what comes with food, confirm date also (no deposit required)

■Price & purchase catering/food related items (baskets, warmers, plates, etc.)

■Confirm bartender (softball bar person)

■Decide what booze to carry
          * Purchase booze

■SUITS! Need to have boy try on, get guys to reserve, decide on what dads will wear
          * Pick up tuxes Tuesday before the event

■RINGS! Need to try mine on again, make sure it’s what I want and order the boys
          * Pick my ring up.  Are inscriptions stupid?  I feel like they are.  Give opinions.
■Book rehearsal dinner (mmmmm…. Mexican!!!)  Rehearsal dinner will now just be me forcing people to help finish decorate the space and giving them beer.  Maybe pizza, but with our wedding party, it'll probably just be beer.
         
■Book block of hotel rooms for guests

■Book hotel room for us (? may go home for dogs)

■Booze license (?)

■Talk to venue, change times renting (please let this work)

■Book DJ, pay deposit

■DIY list (separate list)


DIY List

■Invitations, all enclosures (map, rsvp, reception?)

■Programs

■Tablecloths

■Centerpieces

■Bouquets

■Bouts

■“Altar” decor

■Menu cards

■Candy bar & bags

■Cutlery wraps

■Escort cards

■Entry decor

■Guest book

■Bridesmaids and bride accessories

■Wall decor

Jeez.  31 days is not long enough.

Whoa.

I'm about to drop some mad emotional shizz on you people.  Even though I've been all Negative Nancy, planning weddings suck, eff-my-life lately, it hit me this morning.

I AM excited to get married.  But more importantly...

I'm excited to BE married.

Now this is where it gets crazy.  You've been warned.

Can you believe someone wants to marry me?  MEEEE?!?  Of the curse words and inconsistency and lack of decision making skills MEEEE!?! 

And he loves me... like really loves me.  He doesn't care that I make faces like this ALL THE TIME:

He makes me laugh.  Like deep down, that-counts-as-a-workout laugh.  Evidence:

Like last week, we got a wedding present (thx mom & dad!) and it was wrapped in carpet runner length bubble wrap.  He laid it on the floor where the dogs had to walk and then called their names.  Our dogs were jumping and hopping and running and it was HILARIOUS.  Torment?  Probably.  But the dogs are fine now and I laughed so hard my insides hurt.

I've watched him for over five years with his nephews and our friend's kids (and our dogs) and he's so good with them.  He knows how to talk to them, how to be their friend and how to discipline them (our dogs, not other people's kids).  I know he's going to be a great dad someday (long-ways-away-someday).

He makes decisions I won't (or can't) make.  He says the things that I can't say and he's passionate about the things he cares about (even if that list is football/softball/being awesome).  He knows what I like and let's be honest... knows how to piss me off (see aforementioned list of passions). 

He takes the Christmas list I e-mail him every year with instructions to only buy a few things from said list and he'll buy EVERYTHING.  Even when he knows I'll follow the spending limit rules (thinking this is the year he will too) and he gets way less than I do.  He still buys it all because last year he said, "I just like to see you excited."

(Buying nice things is important.  Not petty.  Right?)

I'm going to be a Mrs.  I'm going to be someones wife.  Our names will be on a checking account together and soon the phone will ring and they'll ask for Mrs. His Last Name. 

And I'll die.  Probably from happiness.

This message was brought to you by Feelings.  Feelings... embrace it.