Most of the time I'm just thinking snide comments and find a way to parlay that into a blog post. Like this morning, I had a guy pull out in front of me and I almost hit him... it would've totally been his fault, too. Anyway... when things like this happen in traffic, I visualize somehow getting in front of them, making them pull over, I get out of my car and
And I wasn't even in the wrong... she was just PSYCHO. I was turning left at an intersection and I swear to you she sped up to try and hit me. It was close. I went on down this residential street when all of a sudden I see this car speeding to catch up with me... I realize it's the car that almost hit me. She passes me in the turn lane, gets in front of me, SLAMS ON HER BRAKES and jumps out of the car. I locked my doors, windows, whatever and started to freak out. She runs back to my car and starts screaming at me to roll my window down so she can beat my ass because I could've killed her baby.
A) I'm not rolling my window down because you are clearly a lunatic.
B) I looked at her car in front of me and see there is, in fact, a 4 year old girl in the back seat NOT BUCKLED, NOT IN A CAR SEAT, but standing in the seat staring at her B-A-N-A-N-A-S mom yelling at me.
C) WTF do you do?!?!
Somehow, there was no traffic on this street at the time and I was pretty sure she was going to find a way to kill me. I should've called 911... but I didn't. I'm not sure what she was thinking, that I would actually roll my window down or get out of the car so she could do whatever she was going to do... it was capital C CRAZY.
She finally told me to eff-off after a good five minutes of the craziest crap I've ever seen, hopped back in her car, and took off. Like wheels squealing, child she was so concerned about falls over in the back seat as she speeds off. I forgot all about whatever I was doing and drove straight back to work, where I parked three buildings down, ran to the office, locked the door, closed the blinds and prayed the crazy lady didn't secretly follow me. My receptionist thought I was the crazy one, until I told her what happened, and she closed her blinds too.
I'm thinking now that I'm going to put my road rage visual away for awhile... because, well, that bitch was crazy. And I don't need someone else having this story to tell about ME.
This polygamist wife has nothing to do with today's post... but it does have to do with tomorrow's.