The story on Duke...

 

I've mentioned a few times that Duke started having seizures a few months ago.  It started just two weeks after our wedding, on the morning of New Year's Day.  Duke had been perfectly himself up until that morning, when he woke me up having what we know now as "focal seizures" affecting his face.  There was slobber everywhere, as he was launching it throughout the house.  He woke me up and I immediately thought he'd gotten something caught in his cheeks (jowls?) on the inside of his mouth.  He wouldn't calm down, wouldn't let us touch his face, but he knew who we were and would listen to directions.  We called our friend/vet tech extraordinaire Amy and she told us our only option was to head to the emergency vet clinic (Amy has a boxer with epilepsy, so she was a tremendous help in this process).

Duke was still having the seizures when we got there and they took him back to examine him.  He was severely dehydrated and his potassium levels were low and he was still seizing, so they decided to keep him at least for the day.  I think I cried all day long, because they didn't know what was wrong with him and the seizures kept happening despite dosing him with phenobarbital via IV.  That evening, the vet decided he thought it was meningitis and they would start high doses of steroids Sunday morning and keep him until we could take him to our vet Monday morning.

As that week went on, Duke had seizures every single day.  We saw one vet Monday morning who gave us more phenobarb (and told us it wasn't meningitis), another vet Wednesday when they didn't stop, went back to the emergency vet Wednesday night because he was having seizures all night, back to the Wednesday vet on Thursday, and finally we got to see the first vet (Monday's vet) again on Friday who suggested we dose him up with phenobarb, knocking him on his ass to "reset" his system.  Duke and I had slept all of 4 hours from Saturday morning to Friday morning. 
 

The vet we saw on Wednesday and Thursday believed Duke had a brain tumor (brain tumors are very common in boxers after the age of 5.  Duke turned 5 the week his seizures started.)  The only way to know if it's a brain tumor is to do an MRI or CT scan, which are only offered in Columbia or Overland Park and cost $1500.  If it is a brain tumor, surgery can be done, which is expensive and most dogs don't survive it.  I left Wednesday's appointment thinking we were going to have to put Duke down.

Monday/Friday's doctor (now our vet for everything) said that yes, it could be a tumor, but it could just be epilepsy.  Even if it was a tumor, we could just treat it like epilepsy until it became obvious that it wasn't epilepsy at all and that Duke wouldn't live a normal life.  We liked her outlook on it, and she had treated dogs, specifically boxers, with both tumors and epilepsy and we trusted her opinion.  Duke was drugged up that Friday and was somewhat comatose for the weekend, but the seizures stopped.  The medicine (phenobarbital, gabapentin, and potassium bromide) did the trick and we went the rest of January and February with only a few seizures here and there.  However, Duke was never the Duke from before.  He was more somber, never got excited, was just there.

Several visits over the last few months were because the seizures started happening more and other problems would pop up (like vomiting for no reason) and his dosages were changed around several times with success in that the seizures lessened.  We put Duke on a diet (Diamond Naturals Lite Lamb & Rice if you're interested, I swear by it) and lost 7 lbs. in 6 weeks at our last appointment in May.  He was "drunk dog" because the potassium bromide was too high since he'd lost weight, so his dosage was lowered.  For two weeks, we had a dog back.  He would run through the yard some and didn't sleep all the time.  But by mid-June, he wasn't drunk dog, but instead was disoriented, easily distracted, and pacing excessively. 

These symptoms have only gotten worse.  He will pace for up to three hours walking laps in our house.  He started running into things more and more and we realized about two weeks ago that the sight in his right eye was gone.  I had noticed his sight was not as good, but it became painfully obvious he could see nothing out of that right eye.  His depth perception is off, he has trouble jumping up in our bed and even the couch.  He's fallen off both in the last month.  He's like a pinball at home and at my work, just banging into everything as he paces and I know it has to hurt as he bangs his head into everything.

I started researching brain tumors in boxers despite everyone telling me not to.  For almost 8 months, I haven't.  I looked up side effects of the medicine he's on compared to the symptoms he had and sadly I'm at the conclusion that this may in fact be a brain tumor that is getting worse.  According to several websites the symptoms of brain tumors in dogs are the following:
behavior change
lethargy
irritability
compulsive walking
walk in circle
loss of habits that have been trained before
facial paralysis often cause by tumor in the lower part of the brain (brainstem)
lower intelligence
partial or fully blindness indicated that there is a tumor in optic nerve or hypothalamus
low energy level
decreased activities
seizures often caused by tumor in the cerebral cortex
confusion
disorientation
wobbliness and tremors indicating that there is a tumor in the cerebellum region of the brain that play an important role in the integration of sensory perception
loss the sense of smell often cause by tumor in the sensory system used for olfaction (olfactory system)

Duke is showing at least 11 of the above symptoms and they are things I can't cross match with symptoms of epilepsy or side effects of his medication.  Duke had a seizure last night that only effected his face (as most have only been focal seizures) but it took at least 10 minutes for him to "come back".  He tried to climb up the walls by our front door and I had to hold him until my husband could grab him so he wouldn't hurt himself.  To bring a dog out of a seizure, they recommend opening a can of dog food or letting them smell something familiar.  Before, just the smell of my hand or my shirt was enough to get Duke back, but last night a hot dog wasn't even working.  It was the worst I've ever seen as far as the aftermath of all the seizures he's had (which have been a lot in 7 1/2 months). 

I've made an appointment for tomorrow morning with our vet and I'm going to go in level headed with a list of his symptoms and ask her to just be straight with me.  I can't handle watching my dog suffer if it's not just a medicine issue that can be fixed.  Duke hasn't been "my" dog since the seizures started.  I feel terrible enough that he could be in pain and can't tell me or that he's unhappy and I've drug this out for my own sake.  I'm praying for honesty from the doctor, the ability to make the right decision for Duke, and understanding from my husband.  Sometimes I do think the worst in most situations, but I feel like I'm being as clear minded as possible.  I simply want what's best for Duke and our family.  And watching him like this isn't helping either of those.

23 1/2 Weeks

This little baby boy is a mover and a shaker.  I've honestly been able to feel him since I was about 14 weeks along... which I felt silly about admitting because they say 18 weeks plus is really when you notice the movements.  I asked my nurse about feeling stuff and she said that depending on the placement of the placenta and your knowledge of your body, you can definitely feel it as early as 14 weeks.  At first, it was just a few flutters here and there... now, he's full on thump-thump-thump.  This week marked the first time I was able to feel him outside of my body.  I can't wait for J to be able to feel it. 

We went to see Transformers 3 opening weekend (4th of July wkd) because it's one of J's fave movie franchises (ok, I like it too).  I told J that the baby either loved Transformers like his dad or he thought it was too stinking loud because he kicked the entire 2 1/2 hours.  It was crazy!  I tried to feel him on the outside but it was still too early for that because it was all inside madness. 

4th of July weekend also marked my first experience with swelling.  I worked all day Friday and it was hot in the store and we were busy so I was up and down all day, then I came home to host a cookout for several of our neighbors and a few friends.  We'd planned on feeding about 20 people and watching our city's fireworks from our street.  We ended up with almost 40 people eating and hanging out in our yard for fireworks and bags playing.  I had kept my tennis shoes on from work and when I finally sat down in the lawn chair to watch the fireworks, I noticed my ankles looked a little... pudgy.  About an hour later I called it quits and when I took my socks and shoes off I was amazed.  My socks had turned themselves into rubberbands on my ankles and it was gross.

The swelling hasn't stopped because the heat has been insane here.  We've been in the 90's or low 100's almost every day since the end of June.  We don't normally see these temps until mid-August... so it's been stupid hot.  When I went to the doctor he said there's nothing I can do about the swelling because of the heat and it's only going to get worse.  All I can do is try to stay out of the heat, keep my feet up at the end of the day, and stay hydrated.  Well, I'm trying to do all of those things.  I had a Facebook status the other day that I ended up not posting (I'm afraid to end up on STFU, Parents):  I was going to be mad about my swollen cankles, but decided to eat ice cream instead. 

I've had the inspiration for baby boy's room for a long time now, since I was convinced he was a boy from the beginning.  I should be working on his room now, but instead, we've decided we want to move before he comes.  Call us crazy, but it all has to do with trying to cut our expenses, getting a fenced in yard so I can quit taking the dogs to work every day, and keep me from spending 45 minutes one way to work in the car every day.  That is precious baby lovin' time, folks!  We are hunting for a place to get into by mid to end August... seeing as how I'm due November 10, that would give us September and October to get situated.  I'd also like to move while I can still help by at least carrying boxes, instead of standing around feeling useless. 

A few side-notes, in the last few weeks I've gotten my first pair of maternity pants (which I would wear EVERYDAY if I could) and I've finally gained weight above my starting point.  I initially lost 7 lbs in the first trimester and have now gained 9 lbs. so I'm just +2 in my 23 week.  Doc thinks this is perfectly fine for me. 

I definitely know how I've been gaining the weight... in hot dogs.  I know they say pregos shouldn't eat hot dogs and lunch meat, but I could pretty much live off hot dogs with mustard, corn dogs with mustard, and sub sandwiches from Jimmy John's and Lenny's.  Mmmmm... it's 7:30 in the morning and I'm thinking of Lenny's turkey, provolone, mayo, hot pepper relish, and veggies on white bread.  I still really only want super sour things (I was sorely disappointed in my Sour Patch Kids for not being sour enough!) and spicy hot stuff: siracha, buffalo wing sauce, the aforementioned hot pepper relish. 

I'm measuring 23 weeks (spot on), baby's heart rate is steady at 156, and I *get* to do my blood glucose test at my next visit in August.  Sounds like fun!

Did you watch "Home by Novogratz"?

"Home by Novogratz" premeired on HGTV Saturday night and I couldn't wait.  I really liked their Bravo show and their style is mostly not something I would do, but I love it still.  I feel like a lot of their ideas can be tempered for the every day household... but for some, their style is perfectly suited. 

The kitchen makeover was great because they used (from what I could tell) Ikea cabinets, cheap modern door pulls and basic white subway tile backsplash, which made a great jump off for any design... and allowed the money for the too-cute pink stove and vintage-inspired fridge as the impact pieces. 

I wish they would've quit saying "We re-did the whole staircase."  No, you didn't.  They talked about how it would eat up most of their $40,000 budget to "re-build" the staircase, but then all they said was that they installed new risers and made it "more structurally sound", whatever that means.  They painted those amaz-a-zing stripes on the stairs which totally killed me.  My husband would NOT like that in any home of ours but I'm dying to do it because I've seen painted stairs around the blogosphere for awhile now. 

I really liked knowing what the budget for the project was and I hope they keep that up. On other home design shows, they never share a budget and it's hard to tell if they spent 4 billion or $2 on a project (ok, sometimes it's not that hard to tell). Knowing the budget though led me to judge it perhaps a little more than I would've been able to not knowing the budget.... like when it came time for the final reveal. 

The Sarah Richardson/Candice Olson lover in me was wondering what the heck was up with that living room furniture layout!  When discussing the project with their team, they told the assistant in charge of furniture they were really going to have to s-t-r-e-t-c-h the furniture budget, which it looks like they did by not buying enough furniture for the space.  The two chairs pushed all the way to the entry, a good 10 feet from the couch/tv area killed me.  And that random chair in the corner of the wallpapered wall!  I would've almost rather they put the chairs (or one chair) with the couch and editing it to not show the completely empty entryway... but what the heck do I know?!?  Uh, nothing, that's what.

(I personally couldn't get a good screen grab of the weird furniture placement, but did find this pic floating around the interwebs of just the living room... the two chairs are off in no-man's land behind where this pic was taken.)

I thought the design would be perfection as inspiration for a younger girl's bedroom or playroom and I can't wait for the rest of the season to see what they do at different types of homes and different budgets.  What did you think?  Did you watch Saturday and will you watch it again?

I've known for 3 1/2 weeks, which means I haven't blogged in 3 1/2 weeks, which means I suck

I'm 22 1/2 weeks right now... I've hit the halfway point AND the 6 month mark.  It's crazy to me that it's already been 22 weeks and I'm on the downhill slide considering that I've known since I was 4 weeks along.  At 4 weeks it seemed like I'd NEVER get to this point.  I've been doing a terrible job cataloging this baby stuff and I had such HUGE plans for what I'd record and write... as in I planned on writing ever day.  (Stop laughing.)  I was sharing at least once a week through the blog and then freaked out and decided maybe I shouldn't be sharing all this with the internet.  And then I got sick of the blog (again) because of the way it looked and how my writing style has been all over the place.  I'm still trying to figure out what works for me and it just feels messy.  But this isn't about my suckage as a blogger... this is about me, telling you, world wide intranets, what this baby is....

Yep... that's blue paint.  If you're color blind you should still see, well, blue, so... yeah.  IT'S A BOY!!!!!!  I knew it I knew it I knew it I knew it I knew it.  I would've been thrilled if it was a girl but would not have believed it.  haha I KNEW IT. 

People ask how I knew it was a boy, and most of it was just a feeling deep down that it couldn't be a girl.  I also checked the Chinese Gender Chart on The Bump and polled my friends and checked for my family members that didn't know about it.  It supposedly has 90% success rate... I only had one friend that one of her two children wasn't right.  Otherwise, that chart was right on.  If you haven't heard of it before, it takes your age when you conceived and the month you conceived and tells you boy or girl. 

Boy boy boy. 

I'm thrilled, over the moon, psyched, sooooo excited.  My son.  My boy.  My guy.